It's February and.....

I've got a couple of gripes already for this month. The first starts with Puxatawney Phil.

LISTEN UP FOLKS!! I AM A MICHIGANDER. For us, winter is a long, cold corridor in the house of purgatory! Those standing outside the house are only there putting chairs in their parking spaces to ensure that they won't have to walk a half mile down Mr. Nevershovels sidewalk to get to the front porch The rest of us are waiting in VAIN for Puxatawney Phil to NOT see his damn shadow so winter can be over! Of course, good ole Phil must have eaten lots of carrots and got hold of some brighteyes flowers because, lo and behold....

I guess Phil must also be on memo ban. Right along with Ina Garten. There needs to be a change in administration.

Ay yo PHIL: It's COLD in DC. When I say cold, I mean...we're not getting above freezing lately and we're BELOW the MASON DIXON LINE. While you're reading this note, Phil, (and I know you can read if you can see your SHADOW) I need you to holler at your boys Cold Front and Low Pressure and get some REAL snow going on down here. I don't mean the paltry inch and a half that they worked up last week. I mean a full-out, shut the fed'ral gub'ment DOWN, no milk, water, eggs, bread, or snacks in the grocery aisle BLIZZARD!!!

Thanks...

Next:

I'm trying to be PHILANTRHOPIC - you know, get my Kimora and Russell on, right? Being the change and all that.....So, BDB (that's my son Big Drummer Boy) did a science project on how music affects animal behavior.

First of all, let's give BDB some shine up in this blog as well. BDB is a mess. He's my 11-year old, straight-A student, budding intellectual ladykiller with a mole right between his eyes. BDB is also veeeerrrrryyyy much in tune to what will motivate his parents.

BDB approached me about the idea he had for his science projct a while ago. Being a musician, BDB decided that he would do some scientific observation of how music really affects animals' behavior. Well, of course, proud mommy that I am just thought BDB was the stitching holding together the cat's pyjamas! We bantered back and forth about how many gerbils he should observe, the type of music he should play, how long he should play it....thewhole nine. I was under the impression that his observations would be done at school....with the school's animals. Er...NO. The school HAS no animals. Which led us to Petco for a couple of gerbils and habitats, etc for him to do his observations.

Let's stop here: did you see me get bamboozled? Did you see the run amok move? How about led astray?

Just wondering.

I told y'all BDB is good. Because NOW he has pets, over my live and willing body!!


And yeah, he did all the observations and all that and put together the board with his mother's intense involvment. The project is over and I'm sure he'll get a good grade. Because he's just like that.

HOWEVER....I said earlier that I'm trying to be PHILANTRHOPIC!! So why is the school hemming and hawing over whether or not they're going to accept our donation of two small animals, food, cages, bedding, the whole nine!! WHY?? AREN'T WE IN A RECESSION?? WHY NOT TAKE MY GIFT? Come ON!! We're being beneficent here! Is this the thanks we get???

hmph!