Thursday, February 19, 2009

It's Been A Long Time....I Shouldn't Have Left You...

Happy March, folks! Good to see you back!

Let me apologize for not updating as I should, but there's a little thing called life that also takes place outside of the confines of in which I engage from time to time....

So...moving on:

March is here. You know, I've always equated March with a certain level of ridiculousness. I actually think a number of people do. Like - which other month is described as a schizophrenic cliche? In like a lion, out like a lamb? It's EXPECTED that there will be a blizzard or some other wintry anomaly at the beginning of the month followed by a 75-degree March 31st, which leaves us all with "walkin' na-MOAN-ya" by April 5th.

Or what about St. Patrick's Day? There's a high level of ridiculousness in its celebration, isn't there? Green beer?? GREEN BEER??? Paired with a mushy stew of cabbage, corned beef and potatoes, there've got to be ridiculously copious amounts of chunks being blown every March 17th!

How about the ridiculousness of a lack of a three-day weekend during one of the longest months of the year? Especially when we're just coming off six months of GOOD federally mandated three day+ weekends! September has Labor day. October allows the celebration of the anihilation of ethic groups native to the Americas. November is Thanksgiving (see October). December begets "the BIG THREE" - Chrismahanakwanzaakah. January has Martin Luffah da Kang Day. February has President's Day. March has.....anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

And what about The Ides of March? That was pretty ridiculous, huh? I mean good ole Caesar got offed on 3/15 by his boyz from the hood. And I know I wasn't the only one who thought Caesar was dumb as a doorknob for not heeding the creepy oracle (on the scratchy Julius Caesar play album) when it said, "beeeewwwwwaaaaarrrrrre the iiiiiiiiiiiiidessssss uv MAAAAAHHHHHHCCCCCHHHHHH!" Please believe, if somone told me "doooonnnnnn't go ooooowwwwwtttt ahhhhhnnnnnn theeeee fifffffff-tteeeeennnnnttttthhhhhh", I'd have my behind up under some covers @ 5523!!!

So to bring today's theme of ridiculousness full circle, I thought I'd share with you a recent quote I read from The King of RE-DICK-YOU-LESS-NESS - Mr. Kanye West.

Now I know that at this point, one of my followers has probably abandonned ship after reading the above line. Just remember, girl, you can pick your blogs, but you can't pick your family :-)!!!

But ole Yeezy has done it yet AGAIN!!! Is it the food?? I swear, I wanna know what he EATS every morning. Like is his water enriched with egoflavinoids? What's in his Wheaties? What could possibly make him think that it's okay to utter these lines:

There's nothing more to be said about music. I'm the f**king end-all, be-all of music. …Oh my God, I'm one of the greatest rappers in the world. I'll get on a track and completely ee-nihilate that track, I'll eat it and rip it in half. I wouldn't have to think of it. …I have, like, nuclear power, like a superhero, like Cyclops when he puts his glasses on."
You notice I put that crap in soft pink itallics, since that's pretty much what I think of Kanye. Dude is soft and pink and creamy in the center! He couldn't make sense if he had all the ingredients and the recipe to put it together!!
End-all, be-all of music?? Werrrdd? So there was nothing before Kanye and clearly nothing after? So when we look up Kanye in the dictionary, we should see this:
Oh, but of the greatest rappers in the WORLD?? Oh REALLY doe Kanye?? REALLY DOE?? So you're in the same league as this guy:
Kanye, I'm giving you the seriously squinty-eyed, lip curled to the side stare right now. I really am! For equating yourself to a Chernobyl reactor you deserve:
and that "W" is not for your last name.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Comin' From Where I'm From......

Hello out there in blogland!

I'm up late tonight - not sure why, but I have this restless energy that's got me going so I figured, WHY NOT BLOG???

And as I'm blogging, I'm listening to music - actually, I'm toggling between this site and watching Cape Verdean videos.

As the the five of you who follow my blog (thanks) may know, one part of my family is from the lovely archipelago of the Cape Verde Islands. And along with the beautiful people (hi family) and great food (some of my followers have tasted the JOY that is cachupa), there is also a wealth of very good music made by the folks who come from where I'm from.

I'm sure that most people associate Cape Verdean music with the Queen of the Morna - Cesaria Evora - and she deserves all the shine she gets. There are also some great, newer artists out there as well. One of my favorites is Lura and since I'm enjoying her stuff, I figured I'd pass some of the love on to you all as well.

Don't worry about not understanding the words if you don't speak's okay....just enjoy the spirit of the music. And at the 3:39 mark, she gets REAL traditional with it!


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

CRAPTASTIC!!! But I Wish You Love, I Wish You Peace, I Wish You Hope....


I penned an entire blog called "Sometimes" about my love for this song by Bilal....I mean, I went ALL IN y'all!! I was disclosing and sharing all over the place and then I clicked the back button like an idiot and what happened???

OF COURSE I DIDN'T PRESS SAVE!! The title of today's blog wouldn't contain the word CRAPTASTIC if I had pressed SAVE!!!

So now I gotta try my best to recreate my creative moment!

Here goes: ever have a song that really takes you THERE?? "There" meaning head back, eyes closed, hand in the air in CHURCH TESTIFYING mode?? I apparently have four blog followers and it would be unfair to assume that all four of you have a church frame of reference. In the spirit of inclusion, "THERE" for you might also mean, head back, eyes closed, air-guitaring in front of a virtual crowd of half-million in a foreign stadium.

Have I covered all the bases? If not, shoot me a comment and I'll see what I can do for ya. I aim to please. For real. That's actually part of my problem, but that's another blog - stay tuned.

I digress.....

So this song, "Sometimes" by Bilal goes all over the place. First of all, he opens with a disclaimer so the listener has about four counts to get OUT and press fast forward before he spills his guts because he tells you in the beginning! Then he goes from some serious disclosure to railing a little bit on his upbringing and getting into his significant other's shit. He even gets a little domestically violent! But at the end, he's resolved and he's just wishing good on everybody.

How much is that like REAL life, though? Like how often have you just woken up one morning feeling like crappitty-crap-crap-crap? And everything around you is crappitty-crap-crap-crap? And everything that happened last night is crappitty-crap-crap-crap. And then you go outside and it's 65 degrees in the MIDDLE OF FEBRUARY (thanks Phil - you read my blog!) and the sun is shining, and you remember that you lost about 7 lbs over the past ten days, and you don't have PMS....oh wait....

Back to the song.....digressing AGAIN!!!!

The other thing about this song is NOT just the lyrics, but Bilal's flawless execution of them. He goes from these rumbly, grumbly, almost scary bass tones to this dreamy falsetto that just makes this song such an absolutely, beautiful, terrible MESS. And he's so authentic with it that you KNOW he's experienced every single moment; for real-for real (hi Amina).

So, I cheated today. The blog LOOKS long, but it's mostly Bilal's lyrics. And if you're a good, obedient blog reader, there's a bonus at the end. Click it and have a really, really great day!! (I mean it).


This is a song that makes me spill out all my guts

Sometimes, I wish I wasn't me
Sometimes, I wish I was drug free
Sometimes, wish I saw the exit sign first
Sometimes, wish I knew the truth without searchin’
Sometimes, I wish I could
go where I never been
See what I never saw,
do what I never did
Ohhhhhhh (walk before I)
walk before I could crawl

I wish my eyes wasn't so red

Sometimes, I wish I had breakfast in bed
Sometimes, I mean it's worth it since I did all the work last night

Sometimes, you ain't good to me, as
I am good to you
And you don't see my intentions
the way I do
hey slim,
you should be nicer than you are
Sometimes, you take that complaining shit way too far
I mean,
I thought it was cute in the beginning
but now I think
you only do it
‘cause you know I hate it

Sometimes..... you got me wishing
I didn't have home training

Then it wouldn't hurt me so bad
When I think of knockin’ you on your ass
Then it wouldn't hurt me so bad
When I wanna put my foot up your ass

I wish I knew life with no pain, yeah
Wish I held the keys to this game
Sometimes, I pretend ‘cause I'm afraid to be,
afriad to be

Sometimes, I hope I live to see twenty five

Sometimes, I wish I could
be like Moses

Round up my people
move out the ghetto

And live a better life

I wish I didn't try so hard


Who knows truth

They don't know nothing,
who needs that approval
The sun in your hands player
Move at your own pace,
listen to your own mind
Do your own thing,

yeah yeah
I'm saying this because I love ya
And I wanna grow with you, baby
But you wanna run in the other direction
So I got to stay on my path until
I win
I win,
I win,
I win
I wanna win,
I wanna win,
I wanna win,
I wanna win

Oh sometimes,
sing it with me I wish
(I wish you love)
And I wish,
oh I wish
(I wish you peace)
Oh sometimes
(I wish you hope)
I wish hope
(I wish true)
I wish true
(I wish clearly)
Hey I wish so clearly sometimes
(Wish with no fear)
I wish with no fear
(I have no fear)
I have no fear
(Have no doubt)
I have no doubt
(I don't doubt)
I don't doubt
(Have no doubt)
No, I don't doubt
(Have no doubt, I wish love)
I wish you love, hey hey

BONUS for those of you who read (y'all are so good):

Thursday, February 5, 2009

It's February and.....

I've got a couple of gripes already for this month. The first starts with Puxatawney Phil.

LISTEN UP FOLKS!! I AM A MICHIGANDER. For us, winter is a long, cold corridor in the house of purgatory! Those standing outside the house are only there putting chairs in their parking spaces to ensure that they won't have to walk a half mile down Mr. Nevershovels sidewalk to get to the front porch The rest of us are waiting in VAIN for Puxatawney Phil to NOT see his damn shadow so winter can be over! Of course, good ole Phil must have eaten lots of carrots and got hold of some brighteyes flowers because, lo and behold....

I guess Phil must also be on memo ban. Right along with Ina Garten. There needs to be a change in administration.

Ay yo PHIL: It's COLD in DC. When I say cold, I mean...we're not getting above freezing lately and we're BELOW the MASON DIXON LINE. While you're reading this note, Phil, (and I know you can read if you can see your SHADOW) I need you to holler at your boys Cold Front and Low Pressure and get some REAL snow going on down here. I don't mean the paltry inch and a half that they worked up last week. I mean a full-out, shut the fed'ral gub'ment DOWN, no milk, water, eggs, bread, or snacks in the grocery aisle BLIZZARD!!!



I'm trying to be PHILANTRHOPIC - you know, get my Kimora and Russell on, right? Being the change and all that.....So, BDB (that's my son Big Drummer Boy) did a science project on how music affects animal behavior.

First of all, let's give BDB some shine up in this blog as well. BDB is a mess. He's my 11-year old, straight-A student, budding intellectual ladykiller with a mole right between his eyes. BDB is also veeeerrrrryyyy much in tune to what will motivate his parents.

BDB approached me about the idea he had for his science projct a while ago. Being a musician, BDB decided that he would do some scientific observation of how music really affects animals' behavior. Well, of course, proud mommy that I am just thought BDB was the stitching holding together the cat's pyjamas! We bantered back and forth about how many gerbils he should observe, the type of music he should play, how long he should play it....thewhole nine. I was under the impression that his observations would be done at school....with the school's animals. Er...NO. The school HAS no animals. Which led us to Petco for a couple of gerbils and habitats, etc for him to do his observations.

Let's stop here: did you see me get bamboozled? Did you see the run amok move? How about led astray?

Just wondering.

I told y'all BDB is good. Because NOW he has pets, over my live and willing body!!

And yeah, he did all the observations and all that and put together the board with his mother's intense involvment. The project is over and I'm sure he'll get a good grade. Because he's just like that.

HOWEVER....I said earlier that I'm trying to be PHILANTRHOPIC!! So why is the school hemming and hawing over whether or not they're going to accept our donation of two small animals, food, cages, bedding, the whole nine!! WHY?? AREN'T WE IN A RECESSION?? WHY NOT TAKE MY GIFT? Come ON!! We're being beneficent here! Is this the thanks we get???